-Worth-

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.”

Colossians 3:1

It is so easy for us to get caught up on what other people think, rather than what God thinks. Why is that? In my opinion it’s because we’ve lost focus on what matters most. We let people define us to the point where we’ve lost our identity in Christ. If you’re like me, I never went to college. Before graduating from high school, my dad gave us kids three options. We had to choose if we didn’t want to go to college.

The choices were

1: Go serve at Word of Life at one of their overseas campuses.

2: Go to Moody Bible Institute for at least one year.

3: Go serve at Life Action Ministries for at least one year.

I never felt like God was leading me to go to college or study anything. Although as it got close to graduating I found myself looking online at Moody looking at degrees. I thought about going for piano and voice. But, I felt like there was no way I could do it. I wasn’t a great piano player. I also wasn’t a great singer. Do you see what I did there thinking that way? I just sold myself short in the gifts God has given me. Anyway, back to the story. I went for a tour on the Campus. While I was there, God confirmed that this is not what He had in store for me. We all stress over what is next, just like any high school graduate. Some of you know exactly what you want to do. I applaud you for that. I took a year to figure out what was next after graduating. Then, I served with Life Action Ministries after that year. Like I said before, my dad asked us just to serve for at least one year. Well I went and ended up serving for four years, so I counted that as my four years of college. I mention this because many people have looked down on me for not going to college. They judged me because of it. I felt worthless many times because I didn’t have a degree in anything. To be honest, I didn’t know what was next after I was done serving with Life Action. All I knew is that God had me there. While serving with Life Action God did a number on my heart my second year. I went through a very rough patch and felt totally worthless and broken. I reached such a depressed state that I sat on a bench swing. I then said to God, “I don’t know what to feel anymore.” I remember so clearly on that sunny day. I heard God adamantly say to me, “You don’t have to feel anything except for my love.” Woah! That was such a comforting moment for me! It was one of the most significant lessons I learned. Now, when I think about what I am supposed to feel, I remember to just feel His love. During that time, God showed me that I was not a broken vessel. Instead, I was His precious treasure. I am His daughter, so He’s gonna take care of me because I’m His. Now fast forward one to two years. I was back in the boat of people asking if I was gonna go to college after serving. I would tell people that I didn’t feel like God was directing me to go to college. I received many different facial expressions. At one point, I was even told that I wouldn’t be able to support myself and my family. If something were to happen to my husband, I wouldn’t be able to manage because I lack a degree. Remember when I asked earlier in this chapter if you noticed that I was selling myself short? I wanted to see if you noticed that I was undervaluing the gifts God has given me. Well here’s the thing. School never really came easy for me. I struggled a lot. Surprisingly, I was able to keep up pretty well when it came to History. I also managed when they talked about space in Science. Oh by the way, I didn’t mention this before, but I was homeschooled. Yeah, so you can imagine all the faces and comments that were said also because I was homeschooled. News flash, people are not stupid just because they were not taught in an actual school, ok? We go through and learn the curriculum just like everybody else. I sold myself short when it came to looking at Moody. I struggled thinking I was plain stupid. I didn’t get or understand things as well as other people. I also didn’t get things as quick as others. But it wasn’t until I was older and out of school that I found out I was dyslexic. Yep! I discovered I had a form of dyslexia. The light bulb went off. I finally understood why I had such a hard time with certain things. People sell me short when they find out that I was homeschooled, don’t have a degree, and that I’m dyslexic. But you know what? My worth is not found in these things; my worth is Found in Christ. I am a daughter of God’s, He has created me just the way he wanted me.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Psalm 139:14

Sometimes I have to give myself a pep talk when I feel the world crashing down on me. My pep talk goes something like this -“I’m not stupid, I just learn things a little differently than others (man doesn’t that make me sound stupid?) No! Everyone learns things differently than others because we’re all made differently. Our brains don’t all work the same, and if they did that would be just boring.” Yep, that’s what my pep talks are like, but it helps me put things into perspective. I feel like when we remind ourselves of the truth, our focus returns to it. The truth is that God has us exactly where He wants us. He has us learn exactly what He wants us to learn. We all have different strengths. We also have different weaknesses. Where my weaknesses are, may be someone else’s strengths. But where someone else’s weaknesses are, may be where my strengths come in. There are still times when I have the feeling/sense that maybe I should have a degree in something. But a degree does not define me. I don’t need a degree to feel important, I don’t need a degree to feel like I matter. I’m a daughter of the King, that’s what defines me, that’s what’s important, and that’s what really matters! For me, not having a degree has made me feel the most worthless. However, for you, it may be something else that makes you feel worthless. But it does get better! The most important thing is to keep reminding yourself of the truth! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I was a dental assistant for over 2 years. Initially, I was a little iffy when asked if I would consider being an assistant. I mean who likes to be looking in peoples mouths all day long? Well, I fell in love with the whole aspect of it. I enjoyed making others feel better about themselves. I also helped them want to smile. I was in it for over 2 years. Then some circumstances happened. God pulled me away from that line of work. God had something else planned for my life. I went along with His plan, even if I didn’t fully want to at first. So, My worth is in Christ. My purpose in life is to glorify Him in everything I say and do. So when comments are made to me, I remember that I am exactly who I’m meant to be. If they are made behind my back, I still remember who I’m meant to be. All because of the One who Made me.

~My Worth Is Found In Christ~